Everybody Despises Doreen/My Life In Cabrini Green

As a child I was told to choose my words wisely and to bridal my tongue

As a parent I lead by example I truly believe it pertains to the old and young

Over the years, I’ve heard people say they are just words and they don’t matter

I beg to differ and that is why we should be mindful of all the idle chit chatter

Because if they are just words I think they should uplift

If they are just words they should not create a rift

If they are just words I think that they should expose your gift

If they are just words they should speak to all humanity

If they are just words they shouldn’t contain hate or profanity

If they are just words they should not lead to chaos and insanity

If they are just words why not make them meaningful from the start

If they are just words let them be words that come from the heart

If they are just words let them speak positively through your Art.

In the 80's pop singer Prince composed a song called Pop LIfe:

What's the matter with your life

Is poverty bringing you down

Is the  mailman running you around

Did he put your million dollar check in someone

else's box?

In 2012 I wholeheatredly concur with those lyrics and wish some

people would break the chains and unfasten the locks!

I am so tired of people standing on the corner hanging loose

Selling loose cigarettes

Begging  for loose change

With loose morals

Using loose language

Wanting everything to be free and easy but most of all LOOSE.

Not having a job

Not attending a training program

But always possessing an EXCUSE.

Constantly complaining about trivial matters in our society

But always taking advantage of government subsidized programs

And selling illegal contraband and participating in other improprieties.

Wanting something for nothing:

FREE FOOD

FREE CELLPHONES

FREE MEDICAL CARE

That kind of mentality makes everyday working people

Lose their minds because it is simply unfair.

Because they are the ones that are paying for all of us

this EXCLUSIVITY OR EXCUSE ME EXC-LOOSE-VITY!

In Sanford, Florida a young life was snuffed out by the captain of a neighborhood watch,

Local authorities wouldn't make an arrest so the investigation had to be taken up a notch--

To the Fed's and now the world has been made aware of a child's last words and screams,

As he walked down the street clad in a hoodie with a bag of skittles, cell phone and tea,

The overwhelming sentiment is that he was killed simply because of the color of his skin

His assailant called the police and said his kind always gets away time and time again

The chief of police resigned and step down,

He definitely did not want to stand his ground!

On Zimmerman's 45th day of freedom the 44th President of the United States Obama took

a moment and reflected on the situation and said if he had a son he'd look like Trayvon,

Television Personality Geraldo Rivera urged black and hispanic teens not to go outside

with their hoodies on.

Illinois State Representative Bobby Rush got thrown off the house floor for concealing a

hoodie under his suit in protest of the teens murder and he said 'just because you wear a

hoodie it doesn't make you a hoodlum!'

Day after day, we are hearing that sentiment across the United States and it started from:

Hearing the FBI play the 911 calls from the assailant as it was amped up a

Thousand watts,

Thousands upon thousands have marched across the country and await

the grand jury investigation on April 10th a day that won’t soon be forgot---ten.

George Zimmerman the killer called and left an apology on an answering machine,

The bland message sounded as if he was apologizing for not keeping his walkway clean.

In the interim Trayvon’s parents have to cope with living without their child,

Friends and supporters search to find ways to honor him but things got wild.

After the grand jury convenes in April the world may begin to heal Zimmerman might be

brought to justice and learn that a(ny) life he has no right to steal.

Then perhaps the 'stand your ground' law will be repealed.

But in late April Zimmerman's bond was set at $100,000 and he posted bail and walked

from out of police custody and he apologized once again,

Trayvon Martin's parents said they felt Zimmerman's apology was disingenious and said

he needs to pay for his sin.

Published in the Austin Voice April 2012

For Heavy D (Dwight Arrington Myers) May 24, 1967 --- Nov. 8, 2011

Today I shed tears

For the man who was

Light on his feet and

Easy on the ears

The party rapper

Who gave us hits like

Money Earnin' Mt. Vernon,

Mr. Big Stuff and Now That

We Found Love,

Who exited our earthly stage

on Nov. 8 and is now rapping

with the angels above.

I remember when I use to blast

his albums in my bedroom in

the late 80's and early nineties,

My mother would yell up the stairs,

'turn that down!!'

I did for a few minutes

then I'd turn it back up and she'd

come upstairs and find me-

Then she picked up the album and looked at the cover

and asked me 'who is that rapping?'

My reply was it's 'the OverWeight Lover!'

Then she said 'he sampled James Brown,

I like that... it's okay, Doreen, you don't have

to turn it down.'

Then she started tapping her foot and bobbing her head

Then she asked me 'is there a video for this record'

and with a smile 'yes' is what I said.

On that day, I was so happy my mother took interest in

one of my favorite MC's,

So from the bottom of my heart ,

I want to say I love you Hev, thanks

 for the memories..

I won't even go there...:o Hell Jane Byrne's  visit to Cabrini Green had the absolute same effect that Barbara Bush's visit had on New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina...NONE!

60,'s, 70's and 80's Soundtrack

Sam Cooke (Another Saturday Night, Chain Gang, Frankie and Johnny)

Nak King Cole

Billie Holiday

Roberta Flack (The FIrst TIme Ever I Saw Your Face)

Helen Reddy (Big Ole Ruby Red Dress, Leave Me Alone, Delta Dawn)

Four Tops (Ain't No Woman Like The One I've Got)

Jackson Five, Jacksons (DESTINY ALBUM)

O'Jay's (Backstabbers, Loving You, For The Love Of Money)

Gladys Knight and The Pips (Claudine Soundtrack) (Landlord)

Barkays (Holy Ghost)

Intruders ( I Will Always Love My Mama)

The Spinners, Sadie, Mighty Love, Games People Play

Stevie Wonder (Isn't She Lovely) Happy Birthday , As

Isley Brothers 

Rick James and Teena Marie (Fire and Desire)

Chic

Parliament Funkadelic (Knee Deep) One Nation Under A Groove

Frankie Beverly And Maze Happy Feelings, Look At California

Gloria Gaynor,  I Will Survive

Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes

Natalie Cole (Annie Mae, This Will Be,  Our Love)

Evelyn Champagne King (Shame)  (I  Don't Know If It's Right)

Whispers The Beat Goes On, Olivia

Kurtis Blow The Breaks

Sugar Hill Gang Rappers Delight

Sequence

Sometimes a ghetto gets under your skin

And has you revisiting it again and again

Beckoning you back to the 365 days a year that you slept and awoke

In Cabrini Green in a three bedroom apt located at 365 W. Oak

Taking you back to the day of your birth

When there was no silver spoon nor mirth

But  what you did have was two brothers and one sister

You all had so much fun playing Monopoly and Twister

When you played outside you couldn’t go any further than the ramp

In the summer and winter your mother signed you up for  camp

And at night kids would get together in singing groups and improvise

They’d pretend to be the Supremes, Temptations, or the Jackson Five!

The buildings were somewhat better maintained

And most of the residents were in a much better frame–

of mind...

And that is why it is so easy to go back and rewind...

I remember some summer days when I was about nine and I didn't go to summer camp, or outside to play with my friends, I'd sit in my room and make a tent with a bed sheet by tying it to the bed posts.  I'd make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and pour a glass of milk and watch a program that 'til this day I don't know the name of.  I know it starred actress Beah Richards as the fairy godmother.  She granted this little girl wishes who lived in I think it was Brookkyn. They were never elaborate things like Cinderella got though.  I guess you could  say It was 'Cinderella' with a ghetto twist.  The little girl would sit in her livingroom and the television was on and the fairy god mother would appear.  They had to be really quiet so no one else could hear.  For some reason I remember a raggedy old shopping cart.and a shawl...I think the most I would have probably wished for at the time was a skateboard, a double dutch rope, some jacks or a bike...

It was the early 80's and 'How Do I Say Goodbye to Yesterday' by GC Cameron was playing on the record player because my oldest brother had borrowed the soundtrack.  It was the only tune that could soothe my broken heart after Glenn Hairiston was murdered.  Glenn  was a friend of the family he lived in the white projects and his cousins lived on the third floor of 365 W. Oak.  He was a very handsome teenager.  When he would come by looking for my brother and say, 'Doreen where's Marsay,' my heart skipped a beat.  He had the prettiest brown eyes and handsomest facial features I had ever seen. Looking back I had a crush on him as I am sure many a girl did. One night that I will never forget is when his aunt came to our apartment and she was trying to speak low but she couldn't because she was so distraught.  She asked my mother if she could drive her to the hospital to see Glenn.  I heard the word 'bat' and I just thought maybe he got into a fight but he'd be alright..  I stayed up waiting for my mother to return and when she came back she was crying and I knew he didn't make it.  She told us what happened and my heart just sank. An older boy ambushed him with a bat and beat him to death.  I went into the room I shared with my oldest sister and cried.  I woke up the next morning crying.  I went to bed crying.  I didn't go outside I just sat in the house crying.  I didn't want to talk because it hurt so bad.  I would go in the bathroom and just sit in the dark for hours at a time.  I guess because it offered complete darkness.  I couldn't go to his funeral because I couldn't even comprehend what was going on.  My mother noticed how depressed I was and she told me that everyone loved Glenn but we have to go on with our lives and she suggested since I enjoyed writing so much that I write a poem or story about him to help ease the pain. But there were no words that I could find to express how I felt. I think I bottled my emotions or they lied in my brain until they were ready to come out.  I think a decade later the words began to flow from my pen.  So I started writing and I decided that if I ever got anything published i would dedicate it to Glenn Hairston and Derrick Savage.   In October of 1993 the Chicago Defender published 'Growing up  In Cabrini Green'  and I dedicated it to their memories.

doreenambrose@yahoo.com or cooleyhighinreverse@gmail.com